Its Hot Outside

I'm sitting in my apartment today. Its super hot outside. New York must be one of the hottest places in the summer time. Sure there are hotter places (i.e. Georgia, where I am from), but what makes NYC so hot is the fact that you have to walk everywhere, and then sometimes you can't find air conditioning. At least in Georgia, you can go inside or turn the air on in your car. But not here. Sometimes you walk around the city going from place to place with a bookbag on and your back just gets soaked. Then you have to ride the subway, and if its crowded, its super hot. Then you get home, and because you don't have that much money (because NYC sucks it all away), your little "Wind Machine" fan is all you got, and you sit in your apartment sweating. It is for these reasons that I have concluded NYC to be one of the hottest places around. I wish I had some ice cream.

Books I'm currently reading...

I used to hate reading, like a lot, a whole lot - but as I've gotten older I have really gotten into it. I am actually rather amazed at all the books I am reading. I read a bunch at once because my mood constantly changes, and I'll read like 20 pages of something, then later I'll read 20 pages of something else. Its like watching tv when you watch 4 hours of programming, but 6 different shows. Either way, here are the books I am currently reading:

1. "Win the Crowd" by Steve Cohen. - Just finished this book today about stage charisma and being an entertainer. It has some interesting tips and recommendations on how to present yourself on stage (and other areas of your life)

2. "The Art Of Happiness", by The Dalia Lama. Only 1/3 through, but so far an interesting read. Definitely worth checking out.

3. "How To Talk Dirty And Influence People" by Lenny Bruce. I read half this book about a year ago, and I have recently picked it back up. If you don't know who Lenny Bruce was, he was a controversial comedian back in the day who was influential for paving the way for free speech in the world of stand-up comedy. He's a legend.

4. "The Worry Cure" by Robert Leahy. Almost finished with this book about overcoming your fears and anxieties. Great book about overcoming all kinds of fears in your life. Admit it, you have a few.

5. "On More Time" by Carol Burnett. Have only read 45 pages of this book, but so far its pretty good. Basically, just a nice autobiography about a famous comedian.

6. "The Power of Positive Thinking" by Norman Vincent Peale. Only 56 pages into this book, but its an international best seller and its geared toward changing your thought process and getting the most out of everything. Time to make lemonade!

Just figured I'd let you all know what I've been reading. If you bump into me or meet me for the first time, these can help serve as conversation starters or something like that.

Alright, I'm off to bed.
P.S. I just had a huge chocolate milk a little while ago. Pretty awesome. You should go make yourself a glass right NOW.

Later my friends,
Lance Weiss

Good Week Ahead

This week is going to be awesome. I'm not exactly sure why, and I don't really have anything particulary different going on, but I just sense its going to be amazing. Here are some things I am excited about this week:

+ Performing at Caroline's on Tuesday at 9:30pm.
+ Performing at Time Out New York Lounge Saturday at 11:00pm.
+ Playing basketball a few times this week.
+ Probably tossing the frisbee around later this week.
+ Meeting new people at random.

Lance

Perhaps There Is No Answer

I often spend time wondering what its all about. Why we are here and what is the point of everything. Ever since I can remember, I have always felt that there is something more, something missing, that things just aren't quite right, that things never will be right, and wondering if things will ever be perfect.

I think I have recently come to the realization that things never will be perfect, things never will be right, and there will always be something in life that feels just a little off. I am constantly telling myself things like, "If I just didn't have this one thing bothering me, everything would be alright". I think I have just figured out that this is not a possibility. Even when we attain that one thing that we think will make us happy or that one thing stops bothering us that we think leads to perfection, we find out that something else pops up and becomes our major concern, or problem of which to rid. I, (like I believe many other people do in their lives), have always shot to be the best, shot for perfection and have everything be just right.

Well, I think I'm done with that. I'm going to try out this new philosophy. I'm going to try and take things for what they are and enjoy every day to the best of my ability. I have learned that we just have one worry or primary need that often fills our mind, but weeks later it is a different need or worry. Basically, what I have learned is that no matter what is bothering me right now, or what huge worry I have on my mind, it most likely won't be there down the road because it will be replaced by another worry or thought all together; therefore, I am taking a stance, and I am going to enjoy today for whatever it is, with all its imperfections and things that I don't wish were there or that I wish didn't happen to me. Perfection is not possible in this life, so I'm going to face life head on, the good and the bad, and do my best to make the most out of what is given to me.

I've realized that its not going to be the perfect journey that I had planned out for myself. I think we as humans tend to see our lives way too far in the future. We focus on what we can get in the future, what life will be like next week or 5-10 years down the road. The reality is that life will not go as you planned. In fact I bet it won't even be close to what you planned. When I look back over my past, my life has gone so much differently than I had planned, and I mean this in all ways. I have had so many good things happen to me that when I think about it, it doesn't even seem fair, and I definitely take them for granted. Yet, I have also had some things happen to me, that were I in control (which I am not), I surely would have chosen a different outcome. I would be surprised to hear a single person on this planet say that their life has gone exactly as they planned.

So, I guess in conclusion, the real answer is to just take today for what it is. The good, the bad, the things you wish weren't there and the things that really are there, and be thankful for the things you do have. Sure, its important to stop and reflect in life every now and then, but the real answer is in doing right now. Enjoying this moment, enjoying this day. I have realized that I can't control everything, but I am going to do my best to control the things I can. I'm giving it my best shot.

Hope everyone is having a great day, and thank you for being my friend. If you are reading this, I consider you my friend.

Now get out there and enjoy today!!! That's what I'm about to do.

-Lance Weiss

Up Too Early

Its 4:35am, and I am up for work. I have decided that this is way too early for any human being to be getting up. The body was not made to experience these hours (unless perhaps going to bed at this time from a long night).

Also, my left ear has been bothering me for the past month, so my ear doctor gave me some medical steroids to perhaps help it feel better. I have to take them for a week and a half, and I'm going to work out during this time to see if they are anything like the steroids Barry Bonds uses.

Word Of The Weiss - Good Weekend

I'm having a pretty good weekend so far. I'm looking into buying a new apple macbook pro this upcoming week, so I am really excited about that. I've been a PC user for years, but I'm about to jump aboard the apple train. Recently, I've been trying to upgrade my life and get more involved in this technology era. I was being lazy, and hoping that I wouldn't need to be a part of the revolution because it would all go away soon enough or change too fast to where I couldn't keep up with it any longer. However, it seems as though it is here to stay, so I'm jumping in with both feet. In all honesty, the more research I have done, and the more I have learned about this stuff, the more excited I have become. There is just so much you can do with technology these days.

Recap of the weekend:

-Did a few shows on Friday night, went to bed at 5am.
-Saturday I slept until 12:00pm, then got up and went down to the apple store for 3 hours to do some research on my upcoming purchase. Then I went to do a few shows, hung out with my buddy Craig Scharf, (who by the way, is an excellent writer), then went to see Judah Friedlander at Carolines, who is fantastic. Then hung out with my boys Elliott and Bret.
-Sunday (Today), its a nice day today, so I think Im going to throw a frisbee outside for a little while, as long as it doesn't rain. Then I have a show tonight at Galapagos in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Looking forward to it. I hear its a great venue, and its being produced by my boy George Gordon and will include some comics from the DC area who I haven't seen in a bit. Should be cool. Starts at 8:30pm. If you want to check it out, just google "Galapagos arts space". I'm too lazy right now to post a link.

Alright peeps,

Word Of The Weiss

Word Of The Weiss Speaks Out On Chocolate Milk

Here is my review on chocolate milk:


Chocolate Milk

Ever since I was a young lad, I have enjoyed the delicacies of chocolate milk. The best thing about chocolate milk is the fact that it tastes so darn good. Another reason is the fact that it has milk in it which is good for your bones. I'm a big fan of 2% milk myself. If that's not available, I will choose whole milk over skim or soy milk every time. It has more flavor, and despite what all the health-nuts say about it, I believe whole milk to be better for you than skim or soy, mainly because drinking soy or skim milk is whimpy and hurts your ego more than anything. Man up and drink real milk.

The Good Ones:

There are many kinds of chocolate milk out there. Among my favorite is a brand called Parmalat. It is EXTREMELY rich, and its texture is so thick it feels as though you are drinking paint. Another great brand is Grab-N-Go. They make their milk with an excellent packaging that is designed to protect from the sunlight, and their milk is pretty rich as well. I have yet to find either of these brands in New York City. Parmalat can be found in many gas stations on interstate highways across America, while I know Grab-N-Go can be found in many stores in Washington, DC.

The Bad Ones:

By far the worst chocolate milk, is Nesquik. I'm not sure what it is I don't like about it, but for some reason, it just tastes of really low-quality. There's also a number of different brands out there that just taste a little flakey, kinda watery. Not good in my book.

Medium-Alrightness:

I have always found Yoo-hoo to be an interesting brand. They are never my first choice when it comes to chocolate milk, but if no good brands can be found, a Yoo-hoo is acceptable. Its like when you want to buy Welch's Grape Juice at the grocery store and you don't have enough money, so you end up buying Associated Purple Drink. Its not your first choice, but it gets the job done.

Conclusion:

All in all, when looking for a chocolate milk to satisfy your thirst (and hunger), I would recommend looking for a brand that has either 2% or whole milk. Usually a richer chocolate milk is better, and the thicker the texture, the more it will fill you up and make you feel like a champ and a winner and a hero.

-Word Of The Weiss

Word Of The Weiss - Day 1

So, I've decided to hit up this blog thing since it seems like the big craze these days. Perhaps I missed the blog boom a few years ago; but nonetheless, I have decided it is time to share my musings to the universe. If you don't know me, I am a comedian based in New York City. You can catch me doing shows all over the place. Thanks for visiting, and be sure to check in soon for more updates.

Lance Weiss