Monday, December 21, 2009

New Site!

From Now on, everything can be found on my new website:

Blog, schedule, videos, and everything in between is now posted on that site. This blogspot site is out of date and no longer in use. Please visit: for the most up-to-date info. Thanks,

Wednesday, December 2, 2009


Here comes some random thoughts from my brain in no particular order:

I'm thinking about switching over to a wordpress site. I think I may have someone design me a cool new template and then use that as my website. Not sure yet.

I went to Atlanta, GA for Thanksgiving to see my family. I had a great time. My niece is getting big and running all over the place. Also, I performed at a show at the Landmark Diner there as well, which was really great. A bunch of my ATL friends came out to the show and it went really well. Cool venue in the back of the diner as well. I recommend it to anyone in the ATL area.

Other than that, I've been up to the same stuff as usual. Performing standup every night and going on commercial auditions. Going to the gym to get in shape as well. That's pretty much it.

Hope everything is going well.

Later Friends,

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

September 2

I always say that I am going to be doing more online to try and connect with everyone and to let them know what I will be up to, but to be honest, I have a really frustrating time with technology and the whole business side of show business. I tend to focus on my art more, as that is why I got into it in the first place, and I like to think that when I get good enough everything else will fall into place. I do want to be able to share my life more on the internet so that more people will be able to read about what I have been up to, but its just a little difficult to keep up with it all. Technology seems to be moving so fast and I really do not enjoy trying to keep up and be a business person. This paragraph really has very little relevance, I just posted it because I felt I needed to get something up on the interent, which is not a good reason to do anything. Alright, hope everyone is doing well. I have a couple shows this week that should be good. Tomorrow night I will be performing at the producers club uptown, looks like a cool little theatre.



Thursday, July 17, 2008

Picutre of me in Time Out New York

This is a photo that I forgot to post a while back. Its an ad for the the March Comedy Madness that took place at Carolines on Broadway earlier this year.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

July 12, 2008 - 4:24 pm

I haven't blogged in a while, and I'm trying to get back into it. I'm having one of the best weekends I have had in a really long time. I'm working hard, and trying to do things correctly in my life. In the past 6 months, I have really changed my life in a number of different ways. I have been working out like crazy - 4 times per week and I am in the best shape I have ever been in. I am also eating way healthier foods than I used to. I used to eat like 2 candy bars a day, and tons of sugary and sweet foods, but now I don't eat any of that, and I feel much better. As a result of my exercising and eating habits, I am also in the best mental health state I have been in in probably 6 years. I am taking this acting class (Alexander Technique) and I am learning how to relax more and breathe oxygen into my muscles and joints. If you are stressed out, whether you are in the performing arts or not, I would highly recommend taking this sort of class as it can just help to get rid of everyday stress.

I've been working on thinking positively more, and its working. It may sound corny, but thinking positively really can influence your life. Here is the thing, everything starts with a thought, and if you can condition your mind to have certain thoughts, it will in turn affect your actions and emotions and you will be able to move in the direction of life in which you want to move.

I don't think I ever blogged about this, but about 3 months ago, I went to LA to shoot a couple commercials for AT&T. It was one of the best experiences I have ever had, and I am hopefully going to be getting a copy of the commercial which I will be putting on the web sometime in the near future. Other than that, I've been doing a ton of standup shows all over the place. I'm doing the University of Connecticut soon with 2 of my good friends, so that should be fun.


Friday, June 27, 2008

New Stand-up video posted...

I just posted a new standup set on my myspace page.

Check it out and let me know what you think.

Also, I'm going to try and start up blogging again, I haven't really done it in a while.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Saturday - All over the place

Its been just over 2 months since my last post. Sorry about that. Lots has been going on. I'll update in the next blog.

This Saturday is going to be awesome. I will be doing 3 shows in 2 different states. Saturday afternoon, myself and some of my comic friends are hosting this sort of Spring Fling thing down at Drexel University in Philly. I'm looking forward to it for 3 reasons. 1). I'm going down to hang out with a buddy of mine in Philly 2.) I've never really spent much time in Philly - new experience for me. 3.) Ben Folds of "Ben Folds Five" is on the bill for the Spring Fling show, so it should be cool to be on the same bill as him.

Then on Saturday night, I am driving to White Plains, NY to do a show with a comic friend of mine. Should be about 50 people. Should be fun.

Finally, I am rounding out the night with a prom show at the Broadway Comedy Club in NYC at 1:35am.

Philly, White Plains, NYC - That's all the places I'll be spreading laughter and joy to the masses on Saturday Night. If you are in any of these areas - hope to see you there.


Saturday, March 1, 2008

1:03 AM - Friday Night.

I'm sitting in my apartment in Harlem. Here are a few things that have been on my mind the past week or so. I am constantly surprised at all the things that pop back up in my life from my past. I'm slowly beginning to realize that every little thing you do matters. Sometimes I blow things off as not really mattering, and I only put forth a half-hearted effort, but then somewhere down the road it comes back into my life, and I realize I could have done better at it. I don't have too many good examples of this. I suppose an easy example is when I'm not as nice to someone as I should be, and then somehow they end up playing a bigger role in my life than I thought they would have. Not that I was mean to them to begin with, but I just don't always give my full effort in talking with people, or listening to what they have to say because I am trapped up in my own world. I meet people all the time when I am out doing comedy or when I hang out with friends, and then months later I will meet them again, even though I thought I would never see this or that person again, and at this point I wish I would have remembered more about them, or paid more attention the first time I met them, etc. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm just trying to give everything my all in every little thing I do.

This weekend is shaping up to be a pretty solid one so far. I have 2 friends from DC staying with me this weekend, so that is nice. Its always nice to see old friends. Tomorrow and Sunday are looking pretty busy as well. I have a lot of stuff I plan to get done.

I've been meditating a lot recently, and I think its really helping me out. I am such a fast paced person, and I am constantly on the go. Even if you sit with me for a meal, which should be a relatively relaxing event, my knee will constantly bounce up and down, or my body will make all these weird little twitches, just because I always have to be moving, as long as I am awake. I'd actually kind of like to videotape myself to see how much I move in my sleep.

My comedy is going well. I have a bunch of shows posted on my myspace. There are a lot of good ones on there, and I am very excited about the next 2 months. Comedy has got to be one of the most confusing things I have ever done. For the past month, I have had great sets almost every night, but now, for the past 1.5 weeks, I have been just mediocre, and stale. I think it is a sign that I need some new, fresh material. Sometimes that is the case. Just last night I did a show, and in the middle of my set, this guy goes, "How about some jokes!". It's amazing to me that this guy shouted this out during my set. I didn't get angry, its just interesting to me that someone's brain would tell them to say something during another person's performance. I can definitely understand the notion that someone does not like a joke, that is clear to me, but why someone would not just be quite and keep it to themselves is beyond me. I started off the set by telling 2 really good jokes, and they both got nice laughs, so then I went into a new story that I am working on, and it doesn't hit as hard as the first 2 jokes, so this guy yells, "Let's hear some jokes!" The thing about comedy is that everyone thinks its easy. Some people will drink a few beers, and then think they are hilarious. I didn't get mad at this hecklar at all. I just talked to him honestly. I was like, "Really dude, you didn't think I told any jokes?. I'm working on this new story and I thought I could try it out here but I guess not." Then, I got some nice laughs just talking with this dude, and then I closed my set by telling him that I was going to do a joke just for him, and I told one of my better jokes directly toward him, looking at him the whole time, and the joke got 3 - 4 laughs in different places, and even he was laughing, and I went out on top. Moral of the story, don't try to mess with someone who knows more about something than you do. This guy thought he could say his hacky hecklar line and get a laugh, but in the end he lost.

Alright, guess that's it. I'm off to bed.


Lance Weiss
"Makin' It Happen! 2008"

Saturday, February 23, 2008

12:46 PM

Its Saturday afternoon once again. I just got out of bed even though I have been awake for about 2 hours. This weekend is flying by, before you know it, it will be 2010. I'm constantly blown away at how fast things are going. I guess I need to just learn to accept it and not fight it - live more in the moment.

I got up today and watched a DVD of Tim Conway videos that my mom got me for Christmas. Its really awesome that my Mom supports my comedy. I know a lot of parents that are not too thrilled with their kids going into the creative arts or performance fields. I am really lucky in that respect, and the support from my whole family has been nothing short of awesome.

I'm sitting in my apartment and the temperature is just about perfect. Its crazy how we can regulate the temperature of a room to make it just right. The more I think about it, I would hate America if I did not live here. We have so much luxury its ridiculous. I'll probably take a shower in a little bit, and I'll just let clean, fresh water run over my body for like 20 minutes. (I take long showers because I just stand there and zone out and try to relax). Its just crazy that a large population of the world's people have to walk MILES to get any kind of water, and then carry it back to a crappy hut, and the water isn't even clean, its dirty, and it may be really cold. I can get in the shower and adjust the water temperature, pressure, and it is really clean water. Its perfectly clear. There are people all over the world drinking water that has crap in it. If I'm drinking a glass of water and it has one little fleck in it, I pour it out, then rinse my glass out with more water, and then finally fill it back up until I have a perfectly clear glass of water. We are truly spoiled as Americans.

On a side note, I'm performing in a sketch show tonight at 8:00pm at Gotham City Improv. I am playing the part of Eminem the rapper. I'm looking forward to it, and as I write this I am watching Eminem videos on youtube so I can learn his mannerisms and style so I can try and portray him in a somewhat accurate manner later tonight.

Its amazing to me how you can learn stuff just by being around something and absorbing it. By just watching a few youtube videos I can put it in my brain how Eminem moves, sounds, his style, and then I can mimic that later tonight. By watching videos, it actually influences my actions and what I do later. Its amazing our brains can learn show much. The wiring in our heads is always changing.

I really enjoy music, as I guess a good majority of people do. I like it because it takes me out of the reality of my own problems and desires, struggles, etc. Its like comedy, I can put my headphones on, close my eyes and forget about all sorts of things. Perhaps a good bit of us live our lives just trying to forget actually living and experiencing the pain of things. This is definitely not anything new that I am saying, but when I think about it, a solid amount of our lives are spent trying to escape our own lives and ourselves. That is why we have drugs, sports, movies, alcohol, comedy, music, acting, reading and books, sporting events, cellphones, to-do lists, the Internet, this blog perhaps, television, etc. We are all constantly just trying to deal and get through life using the things that we believe help us most. What would happen if we didn't do any of those things? Perhaps we wouldn't live at all then.

I was speaking with a friend the other day, and he mentioned something about "What if no one had jobs, what if we all just sort of were here and living?" Something like that. Its an interesting question to think about. We all just rush around like crazy. Have you ever sat somewhere and just watched all the cars go by? I'm sure you have. Do you ever think about how many people are here on this earth? Watch the people walk and drive by, everyone is always rushing from place to place to get stuff done. Its like we are all just rats racing for no reason with our heads chopped off. I got to go here, no I got to go here, wait, I'm crazy, I'm going over here.

My style of comedy has changed a good bit in the past 3 months or so. They say it takes 4-5 years before you figure out your "voice" in comedy, but then I have talked to comedians who have been doing it for 15 years, and they still seem to be trying to figure it out - and they are some of the best comics I know. I guess you just do it, and whatever you are doing right now, is really it. That's it, nothing else.

Its weird to me that I can write stuff down here in this blog, and millions of people have the ability to read it, make sense of it, and then my writing can cause emotion in other people. Some will disagree with many of the things I say, others will feel that I have wasted their time as they read this blog, some will catch grammatical errors, and to them the value of my writing will decline, some people may really relate to my writing, some may really like it, etc. Its amazing to me how communication works and that technically there are millions of people who can understand what I am saying and it evokes different responses in everyone. Writing is great because its almost as if you can share your brain with other people.

Oh yeah, my style of comedy has changed as I had been saying. I'm in the process of getting away from "joke telling" and into more real-life story telling. I am trying to make my comedy as relate-able as I can, and the only way to do that is to be honest and truthful. One of my favorite comics working today is Jim Norton because the times I have seen him live, he has been incredibly engaging because he is just honest - one of the greatest things I have seen since I started doing comedy. He just has this thing where I feel like he talks directly to me. I'm trying to figure out how I can connect with the audience on my own level - hopefully one that is human and truthful.

Well, I guess that's it. Thanks for reading. I really do appreciate it. Have a good weekend. Relax and enjoy the day.


Saturday, February 16, 2008

1:40 PM

I am currently sitting in my apartment in Harlem, here on Saturday afternoon. It is amazing to me how fast weekends go by. Saturday is already half over, and I feel like I haven't really gotten anything done. I never really have too many plans for the weekend. I went to see a show at the UCB Theatre last night. I saw a group called Penny Comedy performing a show called "White Orpans". I'm not sure how long the show is running, but it was really funny, and you should check it out if you get the chance.

On a side note, I re-vamped my website, and I think it looks a lot better and just all around smoother. It may have a couple kinks in it here and there, but I'm working on gettting them out.

I've got a bunch of great shows coming up in the near future. I always have a lot of people ask me when and where I will be performing so they can come see a show, so I'm really trying to keep my schedule on myspace as up-to-date as I can.

I had a great past week. I've been getting a lot of stuff done. I'm finally getting to the point where I feel organized. I've been working in a little different style than I have in the past. I'm sleeping more and working at a more relaxed pace, and I'm actually getting more done and producing better work as well. I used to push myself really hard and feel anxious all the time, and I am finally figuring out how to do it right, and I do work constantly, but in a more relaxed manner.

NEW GOAL: I've got a new goal I'm working toward. I told you I've been working out a good bit recently, and I have set a goal to gain 12 pounds in 4 months. Its a tough goal, but I think its possible. I think its actually pretty difficult to gain weight. You really have to eat a lot of food, and not just any kind of food. I mean, you could eat a ton of cake and cookies, but that's not really the kind of weight I want to gain. Working out has been one of the better discoveries I have made in the last few months. I've stayed consistent to it, and I've been working out every other day, and I just feel healthier and more fit, and I have more energy.

Alright, I guess that's it. I am anticipating the next couple of weeks to be really good, so I should have some nice stuff to share with you soon.


Saturday, February 9, 2008

12:05 PM Saturday February 9, 2008

To the left is a picture of my friend Chris who looks just like me. He does comedy too, I haven't talked to him in a while, but I believe he is doing comedy in Chicago. I bet he gets a lot of girls.

Anyway, its 12:08pm now, and I am sitting in my apartment in Harlem somewhere in the 130's. I've been living up here for about 4 months and its awesome. Its so easy to get everywhere in the city from here and there is an awesome park right across the street from my building. Sometimes when I get up in the morning, I look across to the park and think about how different my life could be if I had chosen to do other things. Not that things aren't going well, in fact they are going the best they have gone ever, but sometimes I just think about all the different places I could be or the things I could be doing. You can do anything in life. You could live on the beach in California, you could go travel around in Europe. There isn't really anything stopping you. We make all these excuses as to why we don't do certain things, at least I know I do. I sometimes want to do certain things, and then I'm like, "ah, its just too much work" or "nah, everyone will make fun of me if I do that".

What's weird to me is how much of our actions are governed by societal factors and the things that shouldn't have any influence on us at all. We get so wrapped up in doing what everyone else is doing that we sometimes lose what it is that we REALLY want to do. I have decided that this blog is going to just be more of a thought-type-journal thing. I had originally intended for it to be a blog about comedy or funny things, because that is what everyone else was doing, but I think I'll just keep writing it as a random thought thing.

Sometimes people ask me how I write jokes, what my process is like. Whenever I write, I don't sit down with the intention of writing something funny. I sit down and just write a stream of conscious just like this blog here. My thoughts move pretty quickly and I just write as fast as I can. I'm trying to be as honest as I can on here, but to be completely honest, everything I write has a bit of holding back in it, because like I said a little earlier, we live by societal factors, and if I didn't edit this as I write it, then people would perhaps not like me or think I were crazy. The truth is that we all want to be liked and loved and deep down that is why I write with an editor in my mind.

Its amazing to me the difference between what goes through my mind and what actually goes onto the paper both here and when I write in my own-more personal journal. What actually gets onto the paper or screen is only a small fraction of what goes on in my brain, and I think other people would feel the same way at times. I don't even know why I'm writing this blog. I could be doing a lot of other things with my time, but I write just to write I guess.

Not too sure what I am going to do today, and I kind of like it that way. I'm slowly learning to live in the moment more, and I am just taking the day as it comes. In life we have the opportunity to chase things, and we also have the opportunity to sit back and let the world come to us, just let things happen, and the amazing thing is that they will happen. Maybe not the things you wanted to happen, but things will happen.

I've been reading a ton lately, which is amazing to me because I didn't used to read at all. I used to hate reading, more than anything. There are countless books in my high school right now that are all bent up because I used to hate reading so much that something would rise up in me and I would throw books against the wall.

I'm trying to figure things out. This blog may sound a little funky, and weird, but it is honest. I guess my hope in writing this blog is that perhaps someone will read it and take maybe one thing I say and it can affect them in a positive way. I'm trying to learn how to connect with people on a more human level, not on a level of society or on a level of ego, or anything like that, but more on a level of just human to human. I want to make positive changes in the world and bring goodness and postivi-tive-ness to everyone, but I'm not always sure how to do that.

Alright, I'll sum it up for you. I am trying to figure out how to become one of those people who just has radiance or some kind of positive energy field around them. Most people in life just kind of go in and out of our conscious mind, but every now and then you see someone who has this energy about them, and it has nothing to do with how good someone looks or how "cool" they are. Some people just have this thing, this glow or flare, and I'm trying to learn how you get to become one of those people.

Also, another thing I have learned is that no matter what you do in live, I don't care what job or field it is, you will always have people who don't want you to succeed. There are just some negative people in this world, and I don't have time for them. My life is too short, everyone's life is, and I don't have time to be caught up in stupid drama or gossip about other people. I'm trying to enjoy the moment for what it is no matter what, and I'm not going to let those negative people in.

Alright, I guess I have written enough for now. Although I'm not sure what is enough. Perhaps enough is because my hands and arms are tired from typing, my brain is out of stuff to write about, or I just feel that no one will read this far for whatever reason. Alright, thanks for reading, if you did read this far, if you could please shoot me a message that just says "Read it" or something just so I know you did, that would be great. It would mean a lot to me if you have. Thank you for your time.

Later you,


Friday, February 1, 2008

Going for it.

I'm trying to take more risks in life and go for things as much as I can. I'm trying to get it done now as anything could happen at any moment, and I want to think I went for it in the end. We only have so much time on this earth, and its super short. You have to go for it right now, whatever that "it" for you might be. Now is the time. I'm really starting to enjoy my life and do some really great things. I'm not totally there, but I feel like I'm slowly starting to figure it out and live well. Its hard work, but its worth it in the end. I'm currently reading "The Power of Now" and perhaps that is what has sparked this thought process in me, but to be honest, these are things that I have been thinking for about the past year or so. Time goes by so fast, I can't believe it. I just don't want to be old and not have done the things I wanted to do. I think this blog is turning more into a self-help type thing, or just me recommending books, but whatever. I just kind of write. I was going to blog every Wednesday night, but somehow after 2 weeks, that fell through. There just isn't enough time to do everything correctly. I feel like I've been rushing for the past 6 years, but I don't know why. I don't know what I'm rushing towards. I'm currently trying to slow down the pace at which I live and enjoy everyday for what its worth because really that is all we have. Pretty soon, this blink-of-an-eye life will be over for all of us. Just think, can you already believe how old you are. Regardless of what age you are, its hard to believe you are this old. Its pretty wild to think about. You really just got to enjoy everyday for what its worth. Alright, I guess that's it for now. Go out there and take some risks, and go for it, because to be honest, there isn't much time left, and if you don't do it right now, when are you going to do it (my thoughts - sort of taken from "The Power of Now").


Wednesday, January 16, 2008

"Wednesdays With Weiss"

What's Up! How is everyone doing. Lots of great thing happening on this end. Hope the same rings true for you as well. I've been working super hard lately. I'm doing more stand-up spots than I've done in a while, and I'm exhausted. Its a ton of work, but I really love it.

I'm thinking about getting into reading some more books, so if anyone has any great suggestions out there, then let me know. I'm really into inspirational books and ideas that help make us better people. I've been doing a ton of writing too. Time feels as though it is going faster than ever. I feel like months go by, and I have no idea what I did.

Technology is getting crazy these days. I can't even keep up with it at all. I feel like right when I buy something they come out with a new version the next week. Even if you try waiting for the new version of a product, the next week they have a better version out. I ride the train everyday, and almost every single person has a handheld device that they watch/listen to as they ride. Its kind of weird how isolated we are getting. We all each just live in our own world which we create through sound and video. Pretty funky.

The presidential elections and whatnot are into fullswing, and I have to say that I don't really care so much at this point. People spend so much time arguing about politics, it kinda bothers me. I was a political science major in college, and finally I just gave up. The one thing I figured out about politics is that most people have no idea what they are talking about. People get into debates, and then they just shout out terms and facts, and it just becomes a contest to see who can throw out the most facts from the 60's and 70's and sound smarter than the other person.

Also, most of the time when people argue politics, I feel like I can't even follow the issue being discussed because people have no idea what they are talking about and just jump around all over the place, so once again its just a big contest to try and feel superior compared to the person you are debating. Also, I think its far too soon to really talk about who will be the front runner, blah, blah, blah. It changes all the time and we never know until the last minute anyway. Remember Howard Dean? Everyone thought he was the man, then he went HEEEYAAAAH! and his campaign was over. Anyway, I suppose I'll give my prediction. Its going to be Hillary vs. McCain, with McCain as the next president of the United States.

P.S. Global warming is not real. And if it is, then great, because the weather here has been so much warmer and pleasant than it should be this time of year.



Thursday, January 10, 2008

"Wednesdays With Weiss"

This is the second installment of "Wednesdays With Weiss". I'm super tired right now, as it is 12:55am, and I am writing this from a secondary location other than my apartment which means I am going to be up for a while tonight, but I want to be dedicated to this blog and keep it on schedule, so here it is. I'm working super hard. I've got so many projects going on its wild, but I love to be working. As long as its something I enjoy, I'll do it all day long. When I'm working on something I love, I produce really fun and creative work.

I feel like I have really been learning a lot in the past few weeks. I don't know why exactly, I just feel like my brain is changing and getting better and quicker, which is great.

This weekend should be nice. I'm filming for 2 different projects on Friday, and then I have a show on Sunday at Botanica which is an excellent show run by my boy Josh Filipowski, and I'm also filming a bit for a third project on Sunday as well.

The weather here in NYC has been awesome the last couple of days. Its been in the 50s and 60s which is great. Sorry, I guess this blog really isnt about anything, but whatever, I guess noone is forcing you to read this, but you keep reading anyway. Weird right.

Oh, I read an excellent book last week. Its called "Driven From Within: Michael Jordan". Basically, this book confirmed what I had already thought, that Michael Jordan is the man. His basketball is great, but I just find his drive and his mindset amazing. He works so hard, and is so focused, its inspiring to read. I highly recommend this book. Its easily one of the top 5 books I've ever read.

Alright, I've rambled enough. I'm going home and going to bed. Hope you are having a great week. Find some time to relax this week. Don't spend it all working and feeling stressed. Find time to hang with friends and enjoy life. Its short.



Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Wednesday Night Blog

Yo, Yeaaaaah!. I'm starting this new thing where I'm going to be blogging every Wednesday night, so tune in. Exciting news. I'm trying something new in a few minutes. I'm switching from an electric razor to shaving cream and regular razors. I'm 24 years old, and I've never done it the real way, so it should be an interesting experience. Sad right? I'm a bit nervous as I have no idea what I am doing. I watched 3 videos on myspace on "How to Shave", so hopefully that will prepare me for the battle. I also purchased a Gillette Sensor 3, which I guess is a good razor. I don't know, I really have no idea what I'm doing. And I also got Edge Shaving Cream for "Clean" Skin or something. Dude ("dude" meaning both the male and female peoples of this world), all I know is that there are like 12 different kinds of shaving cream. They have it for thick beards, regular beards, rough skin, sensitive, extra sensitive, etc. I don't really understand why they have sensitive and extra sensitive. Who's going to be like, "I'd like sensitive, but not extra sensitive"?

Yesterday was a great day. I had 3 shows last night, and they all went really well which is nice. It may be the first time I've done 3 shows in one night and they all went well. Usually I'm 2 for 3 or 1 for 3, sometimes 0 for 3, but last night I was 3 for 3 - solid sets all around. Feels nice.

I have a lot of projects that I am currently working on, which feels excellent. I've had many times where I wasn't working on anything or I didnt have too many projects, but right now I have more than I can handle, and it feels really nice to actually have a bunch of projects to look forward to.

On a side note, its super cold out today. The wind chill right now is 3 degrees, and tomorrow the windchill is not going past 11 degrees. Its too cold here. I'd move to LA in a heartbeat if it wasn't for stand-up, but the truth of the matter is, New York is the king capital of stand-up. All the best comics come out of here, and its worth being cold to be around the best of the best. Lots to learn.

My stand-up act is getting better and better. My material is slowly getting dirtier, yet its getting funnier as well. I'm working on cleaning it up, but most importantly its funny. Its such a learning process.

Also, I'm in the process of looking for a ladyfriend that may want to come along on the Weiss journey for a little while. Here's what I'm looking for, so if you think you're a candidate here goes:

This first one may term a lot of people out. I'm looking for a twice-a-week girlfriend. I don't need someone that is going to bother me everyday and make me stay on the phone for hours for no reason. I'm looking for someone that wants to maybe catch dinner on Wednesday nights, and then maybe a dinner, movie, a walk, conversation, etc. on Friday's or Saturdays. Also, you have to be smart, pretty, fun, and just all around cool (of course, you never here anyone go, "You know, I'm looking for a fat, ugly, boring, dumb chick. Do you know where I can get one of those?" - so I guess that statement was obvious). I've recently gone on a healthy streak, so if you're into exercising and eating well, then that's cool as well. You should be about my height. I'll go a few inches lower, but if you're like 3 - 4 inches taller than me, then you're out, because then I can't look you in the eye. I'll be looking at your chin, which is weird. Above all, you have to be cool.
Some people might say, "Hey, but Lance, you aren't that good looking yourself, how can you make so many demands". Go write your own blog.

Whoo, I'm also trying this new thing where I'm taking a risk a day. I've decided that we all live in a comfort zone, and we rarely go outside of it, but if you take a risk everyday, then your comfort zone will expand, and you will be able to do and achieve more.

P.S. If you've read this far, please post a comment so I know someone read this. I know there is some loser temping at Loreal or a real estate office that has nothing better to do. "Oh my gosh, that is so true". I'm a genius.

Thanks for reading.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

2008 and my goals for the new year.

A lot of people always say that, "This is my year, or that good things are going to happen to me this year", but I'm not pulling one of those. I mean I hope good things happen, but I'm just hoping for a solid year of living healthy and creating and working on new and exciting projects. I've been eating super healthy, and I've been working out a little bit, and its taken me a year to do so, but I've finally got a solid sleep schedule down which makes a HUGE difference. I went through a long period of only sleeping 4-5 hours a night, and after a while that really takes a toll on you, and I am convinced it takes years off your life (or at least feels like it does).

I'm really excited about this year because I feel as though I finally have everything set up here in New York, and now I have somewhat of an idea of what I am doing and where I want to go, which is a great feeling. I moved to New York a little over 1.5 years ago, and I am finally at the point where I'm starting to figure it out a little bit. I just moved into a great new apartment about 2 months ago. Its way bigger and nicer, and closer to transportation than my last place. My comedy is going the best its gone since I started doing stand-up almost 3 years ago (still nothing in this game though), and I am all around just getting better at living healthy and staying positive. I've also got a great group of friends here in New York, some from high school, some from college, and then people I've met since I've been here, and its great to have that many great people around.

So, I guess all in all, for 2008 I just want to continue on the path I'm on. Not any real goals or resolutions, but just to continue creating new original work, having fun, living healthy, and enjoying life.

On a side note, I'm planning to post some new videos on my myspace page in the next few months. I've got some cool sketches and videos that I'm working on, and perhaps I'll try to throw up a stand-up clip of some new material I've been working on.

Alright, I guess that's it for now. Thanks for tuning it. Check you next time.


Tuesday, October 23, 2007

2 Great Shows Tonight...

I'm on 2 really great shows tonight if you want to come check them out. Tons of awesome comics on both shows. Should be a great time.

Arlenes Grocery
95 Stanton Street
Hosted By George Gordon

Carolines On Broadway
New Class Clowns
50th and Broadyway
Hosted By Bryan Kennedy.

I'll be working on a little bit of new material that I'm excited to put out there. Cool, hope to see you at one of the shows. Later,

Monday, October 15, 2007

October 15, 2007

Its Monday again, and I have a feeling this is going to be a great week. I'm not entirely sure why, I'm just feelin' it. Got about 4-5 fun shows this week, cleaning up my room, and just trying to get everything in order. I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago, and its finally much better now so I can get out biking and playing basketball again.

The weather here in NYC has gotten a little cooler over the last week. Its great weather. Its like light jacket weather, but not too cold yet. I hope it stays this way for a while. Halloween is coming up. Not sure what I'm planning to do. I'll probably be doing comedy somewhere. I used to have some Halloween jokes, but I can't remember any of them at this time. I'll have to dig them up.

Guess that's about it for now. Later,

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Shows this week.

If you're interested here are a few of the shows I'll be performing at this week:

Tuesday 8:00pm
Comedy For The F*&k Of It
New York Comedy Club

Tuesday 9:30pm
New Class Clowns
Carolines On Broadway

Wednesday 9:00pm
Laugh Lounge NYC

Saturday 10:00pm
Time Out New York Lounge
New World Stages

I'll be hitting up a few other spots as well, but I just figured I'd put the word out about a few of the places I would be at this week. Hope everyone had a great weekend.


Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Camping Trip

Just got back from a fantastic camping trip this past weekend. Went on probably the best hike I ever gone on. Usually, I am not one for hiking because I picture just walking through the woods, but this hike was awesome. We went through caves, by a 200 ft waterfall, and walked along the edge of cliffs. It was some tough terrain too, with a ton of rocks, roots, and hills. I just want to thank all of my friends on the camping trip and the new friends I made for a great time.

Did 2 shows at Carolines last night, both went well. I'll be at Carolines again at 9:30pm tonight if anyone wants to stop by. Should be a good show.

Just relaxing right now. Sitting in my apartment. The weather is starting to get a little cooler, and so far its great, not sure about winter though. Alright, guess that's it. Later,


Monday, September 3, 2007

Thank You Roanoke College

I had an excellent weekend. 4 of my friends and I went down to Salem, VA to do a show at Roanoke College. It was nothing short of awesome. We got down on Friday night and went to a local theatre to perform stand-up at their "No Shame" Variety Night. Interesting experience to say the least. There was no microphone, and the audience consisted of some of the wierdest people I have ever seen. Its different down there in Salem. Overall, it was a lot of fun though.

Our show at the college was on Saturday night, and I wasn't sure how it was going to turn out, but it went amazingly. When we arrived at the campus there were posters all over the place. And when showtime came around, the ballroom we performed in was standing room only. The show ran perfectly from beginning to end, and we all had great sets. Felt like a rockstar.

Got back to New York Sunday night and ran over to Botanica to do a set and then to Laugh Lounge which was sold out. Overall, one of the best weekends I have had in a while, and I want to thank my friends for being so cool on the trip. More to come in the future.

Picture from the weekend:



Thursday, August 30, 2007

Gone for the weekend.

I'm headed down to Salem, VA to do a comedy show at Roanoke College with 4 of my good friends. Should be a fun time. I'm looking forward to getting out of the city for a few days. Alright, cool, later.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

New Video + Artwork

I just posted a new video of a few jokes I did down at the Laugh Factory. Its on my myspace:

I also posted some new artwork under the "Art" Section of my website:

Solid Week Of Comedy

I'm having a nice week in comedy thus far. I've been on great shows since Sunday. Sunday I was at the Laugh Lounge, which I bombed at. Then I had great shows at Carolines on both Monday and Tuesday, and tonight I'm coming off a pretty decent set at the Laugh Factory. 3 out of 4, not bad. Things are going well in the comedy world. A lot of my friends are starting to gain some exposure and success, and I think that's great. I'm proud of all of them, and they are doing it right. One thing about this business is that there is so much jealously, and there are so many egos flying around all over the place. People are always complaining about what they didn't get or what someone else got, blah, blah, blah. Screw all that, I'm glad to see people succeed in this business. Getting mad that someone got something you didn't get does you no good at all. In fact, it has nothing to do with you whatsoever. I just can't understand why people get so mad over these things. If you are funny, your time will come and you will get all the opportunites. To all of my friends in comedy who are doing their thing, keep up the good work. I'm proud of ya.

Guess that's it for now. I'm going to be trying to post some new clips on my myspace here in the next few days.


Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Stand-up Video + Artwork

I just posted a new video of me performing at Carolines this week. Its a decent clip, with some of the jokes I am currently doing. Also threw in a couple of oldies, but goodies. Hope you enjoy it. Its completely work safe as well, so show it to all your co-workers. I also posted some new art work to my website. (under "Art") Cool. Later,


Saturday, August 18, 2007

New Myspace Video!!!

I just posted a new video on my myspace page. Check it out

Friday, August 17, 2007

New Camcorder

I just purchased a new camcorder, and I am really excited about it. I'm going to be posting some videos of my stand-up and perhaps some sketches that a few of my friends and I are putting together sometime in the near future. I'm trying to be a part of this digital age. In the last month, I have made great steps toward doing just that. I bought a new macbook pro computer, redid/cleaned up my website, and got a new camcorder, so now I am all ready to go. Should be some fun/interesting internet content posted by Lance Weiss in the near future. Lookout!


Tuesday, August 7, 2007

New Website

I just put up my new website.

There are a bunch of problems with it, but the starter version is up, so feel free to check it out. I am about to celebrate with a glass of chocolate milk.

Friday, August 3, 2007

Weekend Plans

My family is coming in town this weekend to help me celebrate my birthday. They came last year, and I think it may be a yearly thing for them from now on. I think I may be their reason for coming to hang out in New York for a few days. I'm pretty excited about seeing my family, as its been about 3-4 months since I last saw them. We don't really have too much planned as they've done most of the touristy stuff already. We'll probably just go out to eat a few times, maybe see a movie, perhaps a Broadway show, and just walk around NYC doing random stuff. Should be fun.

On Sunday, I'll be at the Laugh Lounge at 8:30pm. This will be the 3rd week in a row I will have done this show. The 2 previous shows were great, and the audiences were terrific. I expect this one to be equally amazing. Check it out if you can:

Laugh Lounge nyc
151 Essex St, New York, NY 10002

Hope everyone has a great weekend. Be sure to get out and do something fun.


Thursday, August 2, 2007

Website Issues...

My website is down for the moment as it is undergoing a renovation. Should be up in the next 2 weeks or so. For the time being, I'm using my myspace page:

Thursday, July 26, 2007

I used to surf a lot.

Great Comedy Show and 600 myspace friends

Did a fun show on Tuesday night. "Comedy For the F&*k Of It". Great show run by my girl Del. The audience was fantastic, very attentive and into the whole show from beginning to end. Del is a terrific host who runs a great show, and there are prizes and give-aways at the end. The level of comedic talent was also very high, and I had a great time watching all the other comics. All in all, the show gets an A+ in my book. My hilarious friend Kyle Finchem was on the show a few weeks ago, and he said it was awesome then as well, so if you want something fun to do, check it out. Its sure to be a good time. Here is the info below:

Alibi Cocktail Lounge
116 MacDougal Street
ABCDEFV Trains to West 4th Street
West Village, Manhattan, NYC

On a side note, today I officially broke the 600 mark on my myspace friends count. I've been waiting for this moment for quite some time now. Not sure if it has any real significance. Probably not. Either I am getting more popular with more friends, or I am becoming more of a loser for having so many online friends versus real human friends. Who knows. Anyway, hit the 600 mark and it feels good.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Laugh Lounge

Did a cool yesterday at the Laugh Lounge. It was a medium-sized crowd, but rivaled just about any crowd I have been in front of. They loved every single comedian on the show, and everyone had a great time. I wish more comedy shows were this way.

Comedy continues to confuse me, as it is a constant battle of ups and downs. Let's say I do 2 shows in one night, a 7:00pm and a 9:30pm show. I can kill (for you non-comedy peeps, kill means doing well) on the 7:00pm, and then do just about the same thing on a 9:30pm show and have it go down the tubes (for you non-comedy peeps, "down the tubes" means exactly what it sounds like). One minute I think I am going to be a terrific comedian; the next minute I feel like I shouldn't even be allowed to hold a microphone.

I think there is a general misconception among people who don't do comedy. I've seen people come out of a show and be like, "that person's horrible" or "that person's great". Not necessarily true. A seasoned comedian can have an off night, and a less experienced comedian may have an incredible night. It is for these reasons that I think comedians should not be judged as either "good" or "bad" unless you have seen them about 5 times, because comedy is such an up and down thing. Its not each night that counts, but the overall progression of the comedian. After 5 nights, if you think a comedian is great overall, then go ahead and say so. If you think a comedian stinks, then go ahead and say so, he/she probably really does stink. Just my thoughts on seeing comedians.


Friday, July 20, 2007

Weekend plans and NYC Apple Store.

Here is a picture of a funky storm cloud that I captioned on my local beach in Georgia of 2005.

Its 11:08am. Just ordered a new camcorder last night, so I should be able to start posting a bunch of web videos and whatnot for everyone to check out. Not too much planned this weekend. Got a few shows here and there. I'll be at the Laugh Lounge on Sunday at 8:30pm if anyone is interested. Probably just hang out with a few friends on Saturday. Friday night at 1:00am I have an appointment at the Apple Store with one of their expert people to help me learn some of the advanced gizmos on my new computer. That's the cool thing about NYC. The apple store here is open 24/7, which is awesome. Its really pretty cool. On the weekends, they bring in Dj's and have dance parties and whatnot right in the apple store while people are also buying computers, iphones, ipods, and the what have you. I used to not be a big fan of Apple, but recently in the past 2 months, I have really started to come around. Guess that's about it for now. Let me know if you have a cooler picture of a storm cloud. I' be interested to see. And I mean one that you really took, not one taken from google images.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Another Excellent Night Of Comedy

Random picture of me pretending to give the news.

Over the past few weeks, I have been very fortunate to have been able to take part in some awesome nights of comedy. Last night was just that. I did 3 shows, all of which were phenomenal. I started out at Carolines at 7:00pm. Then I headed down to Mo Pitkins to hit up the "Lost Puppy" show run by my boy Matt Mayer, which is sometimes co-hosted by Rory Scovel. These are 2 of my favorite comics who I started comedy with down in the D.C area. Lost Puppy is becoming a popular hotspot for comedy on Tuesday nights. Then after that, I headed back up to Carolines for the 9:30pm show which is run by another one of my boys and favorite comics, Bryan Kennedy. This show happens every Tuesday at 9:30pm, and easily rivals any show in Manhattan on Tuesday nights. This show features a nice mix of up-and-coming comedians along with some of the top pros in the business from all over the country.

Matt Mayer's "Lost Puppy" and Bryan Kennedy's "New Class Clowns" are 2 of the best comedy shows in New York. If you want to check them out, here is the info below.

Lost Puppy
Tuesdays 9:30pm
Mo Pitkins
Avenue A and 3rd Street

Bryan Kennedy's New Class Clowns
Tuesdays 9:30pm
Carolines On Broadway
50th and Broadway
212 757 4100

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Picture of me on top of the Empire State Building - Summer 2005

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Excellent Night of Comedy

I was thinking about it, and yesterday was one of the better nights I have had in comedy in a really long time. I had a great set at 7:00pm at Carolines, then I ran over to a mic, where I did 35 minutes, and then I had another nice set at Carolines on the 9:30pm show. It was nice to be able to get up on stage so much last night, and that was a Tuesday which is super good. In the past, I've had many nights where I wasn't able to get on stage at all due to varying reasons, but last night was really great.

The weather is nice here today. Like 70ish-something. Not too bad.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Old Stand-Up clip

If you're interested, here is an old clip of me at the DC Improv.

Happy Tuesday

Did 2 shows yesterday. Both of which went great. Had a spot at Carolines last night at 7:00pm. Great crowd for a Monday night. About 180 people. Then I made my way out to Brooklyn to do a show at Hanks Saloon on Atlantic Avenue. It was awesome. The show was put on by my girl Ku, who is super funny. The show also featured free hotdogs for both comics and audience members. Saw a few comics that I had never seen before, and I was highly impressed. I am constantly meeting comics I did know about just about everywhere I go. There is really some great talent here in NYC. Anyway, if you get a chance to check out Ku's Comedy at Hanks Saloon, you should definitely do so. Its on Monday's at 8:oopm on the corner of 3rd Ave and Atlantic in Brooklyn.

I'll be at Carolines at 9:30pm tonight if anyone is interested.

Hope you are having a great day! Don't work too hard.



Monday, July 9, 2007

Friday, July 6, 2007



More of my Artwork


If I ever get married...

Let's agree. Weddings are boring. Receptions are cool, but weddings themselves are a little dry. So I've decided that if I ever get married, I'm going to make it interesting. One of the things I am going to do instead of driving a limo away (because everyone does that), I am going to drive a big construction vehicle with a scoop on the front, and then I am going to pick my wife up inthe scoop, and we are going to drive off into the sunset. This is just one of the awesome things that will happen at my wedding.

I'm an artist.

I'm not just a comedian. I'm also an artist. Here is a picture of a hamburger punching an ostrich. Enjoy.


Its 2:21am, and I can't sleep. I got in bed at 12:00am, and I tried for 2 hours to fall asleep, but I just couldn't do it. Its just one of those nights. Its kinda weird. On one hand, I am really tired, but my body won't let me go to sleep. Its like its wide awake. Perhaps I need to eat a little healthier. I often only eat 1 meal a day and then a ton of junk food throughout the rest of the day. Here is what I ate today:

1 bowl of Frosted Mini Wheats
1 bowl of grapes
1 snickers bar
1 packet of skittles
1 packet of strawberry pop tarts
1 bowl of pasta with tomatoes and cheese for dinner
1 bowl of Frosted Mini Wheats again late night.

This list just caused me to remember. I had 3 glasses of coke around 9:00pm. That is probably why I cannot go to sleep. Looking at my diet for today, it appears that there are some solid elements in there, but I think I could probably do better in terms of boosting the health factor. I'm going to the grocery this weekend and I'm going to stock my pantry with some better full out meals. I'm going to try and eat 3 meals a day instead of this random assortment of snacks. We'll see how it goes.

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Happy 4th of July!!!

Hope everyone is having a great 4th of July today. I threw a frisbee in Central Park and then hung out with a few friends at 2 different comedy shows.

Monday, July 2, 2007

Hanging Out

Its 11:59pm on Monday night. Did two shows earlier tonight. First one went very well, second was so-so. Just hanging out right now. Got my shirt off, its hot in my room. Just relaxing. Listening to "Learn to Fly" by the Foo Fighters and it looks like the next song on the Itunes list is, well a little embarrassing, "I'm Feeling You" by Frank T. Santana. I've been getting free itunes as of late due to a relative who keeps hooking me up. I'm not too picky in music. I listen to pretty much everything. I actually really enjoy the radio because its just easier and they make playlists for me.

Also, it has come to my attention that it has officially been over a year since I have watched television. I mean I catch an occasional show from time to time, or if there is something I want to see, sometimes I'll stop my life and tune in, but for actually sitting down and watching on a weekly basis or on a somewhat regular schedule - its been a year. I haven't really missed it. I've been filling my time with other activities such as meeting and talking to new and old people alike. Its not bad.

Just sitting here trying to relax right now. I just ordered my macbook pro that I was talking about earlier. It should get in here in the next 1.5 weeks or so, and then its off to the races. I'm going to redesign my website, put some videos up and all that jazz. I'm going to be connecting to my fanbase which is small, but willing and able.

Don't really have any big fourth of July plans. Supposed to go to a party tomorrow night, which should be cool. Meeting up with a good friend I haven't seen in about a year. Besides that, just the uush (that's short for "usual", not sure its correct). Alright, guess that's it for now. I'm off to bed. I'm hoping for a dream about lucky charms because they are fantastic.

Later my internet friends,

-L Train

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Its Hot Outside

I'm sitting in my apartment today. Its super hot outside. New York must be one of the hottest places in the summer time. Sure there are hotter places (i.e. Georgia, where I am from), but what makes NYC so hot is the fact that you have to walk everywhere, and then sometimes you can't find air conditioning. At least in Georgia, you can go inside or turn the air on in your car. But not here. Sometimes you walk around the city going from place to place with a bookbag on and your back just gets soaked. Then you have to ride the subway, and if its crowded, its super hot. Then you get home, and because you don't have that much money (because NYC sucks it all away), your little "Wind Machine" fan is all you got, and you sit in your apartment sweating. It is for these reasons that I have concluded NYC to be one of the hottest places around. I wish I had some ice cream.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Books I'm currently reading...

I used to hate reading, like a lot, a whole lot - but as I've gotten older I have really gotten into it. I am actually rather amazed at all the books I am reading. I read a bunch at once because my mood constantly changes, and I'll read like 20 pages of something, then later I'll read 20 pages of something else. Its like watching tv when you watch 4 hours of programming, but 6 different shows. Either way, here are the books I am currently reading:

1. "Win the Crowd" by Steve Cohen. - Just finished this book today about stage charisma and being an entertainer. It has some interesting tips and recommendations on how to present yourself on stage (and other areas of your life)

2. "The Art Of Happiness", by The Dalia Lama. Only 1/3 through, but so far an interesting read. Definitely worth checking out.

3. "How To Talk Dirty And Influence People" by Lenny Bruce. I read half this book about a year ago, and I have recently picked it back up. If you don't know who Lenny Bruce was, he was a controversial comedian back in the day who was influential for paving the way for free speech in the world of stand-up comedy. He's a legend.

4. "The Worry Cure" by Robert Leahy. Almost finished with this book about overcoming your fears and anxieties. Great book about overcoming all kinds of fears in your life. Admit it, you have a few.

5. "On More Time" by Carol Burnett. Have only read 45 pages of this book, but so far its pretty good. Basically, just a nice autobiography about a famous comedian.

6. "The Power of Positive Thinking" by Norman Vincent Peale. Only 56 pages into this book, but its an international best seller and its geared toward changing your thought process and getting the most out of everything. Time to make lemonade!

Just figured I'd let you all know what I've been reading. If you bump into me or meet me for the first time, these can help serve as conversation starters or something like that.

Alright, I'm off to bed.
P.S. I just had a huge chocolate milk a little while ago. Pretty awesome. You should go make yourself a glass right NOW.

Later my friends,
Lance Weiss