Saturday, February 9, 2008

12:05 PM Saturday February 9, 2008


To the left is a picture of my friend Chris who looks just like me. He does comedy too, I haven't talked to him in a while, but I believe he is doing comedy in Chicago. I bet he gets a lot of girls.

Anyway, its 12:08pm now, and I am sitting in my apartment in Harlem somewhere in the 130's. I've been living up here for about 4 months and its awesome. Its so easy to get everywhere in the city from here and there is an awesome park right across the street from my building. Sometimes when I get up in the morning, I look across to the park and think about how different my life could be if I had chosen to do other things. Not that things aren't going well, in fact they are going the best they have gone ever, but sometimes I just think about all the different places I could be or the things I could be doing. You can do anything in life. You could live on the beach in California, you could go travel around in Europe. There isn't really anything stopping you. We make all these excuses as to why we don't do certain things, at least I know I do. I sometimes want to do certain things, and then I'm like, "ah, its just too much work" or "nah, everyone will make fun of me if I do that".

What's weird to me is how much of our actions are governed by societal factors and the things that shouldn't have any influence on us at all. We get so wrapped up in doing what everyone else is doing that we sometimes lose what it is that we REALLY want to do. I have decided that this blog is going to just be more of a thought-type-journal thing. I had originally intended for it to be a blog about comedy or funny things, because that is what everyone else was doing, but I think I'll just keep writing it as a random thought thing.

Sometimes people ask me how I write jokes, what my process is like. Whenever I write, I don't sit down with the intention of writing something funny. I sit down and just write a stream of conscious just like this blog here. My thoughts move pretty quickly and I just write as fast as I can. I'm trying to be as honest as I can on here, but to be completely honest, everything I write has a bit of holding back in it, because like I said a little earlier, we live by societal factors, and if I didn't edit this as I write it, then people would perhaps not like me or think I were crazy. The truth is that we all want to be liked and loved and deep down that is why I write with an editor in my mind.

Its amazing to me the difference between what goes through my mind and what actually goes onto the paper both here and when I write in my own-more personal journal. What actually gets onto the paper or screen is only a small fraction of what goes on in my brain, and I think other people would feel the same way at times. I don't even know why I'm writing this blog. I could be doing a lot of other things with my time, but I write just to write I guess.

Not too sure what I am going to do today, and I kind of like it that way. I'm slowly learning to live in the moment more, and I am just taking the day as it comes. In life we have the opportunity to chase things, and we also have the opportunity to sit back and let the world come to us, just let things happen, and the amazing thing is that they will happen. Maybe not the things you wanted to happen, but things will happen.

I've been reading a ton lately, which is amazing to me because I didn't used to read at all. I used to hate reading, more than anything. There are countless books in my high school right now that are all bent up because I used to hate reading so much that something would rise up in me and I would throw books against the wall.

I'm trying to figure things out. This blog may sound a little funky, and weird, but it is honest. I guess my hope in writing this blog is that perhaps someone will read it and take maybe one thing I say and it can affect them in a positive way. I'm trying to learn how to connect with people on a more human level, not on a level of society or on a level of ego, or anything like that, but more on a level of just human to human. I want to make positive changes in the world and bring goodness and postivi-tive-ness to everyone, but I'm not always sure how to do that.

Alright, I'll sum it up for you. I am trying to figure out how to become one of those people who just has radiance or some kind of positive energy field around them. Most people in life just kind of go in and out of our conscious mind, but every now and then you see someone who has this energy about them, and it has nothing to do with how good someone looks or how "cool" they are. Some people just have this thing, this glow or flare, and I'm trying to learn how you get to become one of those people.

Also, another thing I have learned is that no matter what you do in live, I don't care what job or field it is, you will always have people who don't want you to succeed. There are just some negative people in this world, and I don't have time for them. My life is too short, everyone's life is, and I don't have time to be caught up in stupid drama or gossip about other people. I'm trying to enjoy the moment for what it is no matter what, and I'm not going to let those negative people in.

Alright, I guess I have written enough for now. Although I'm not sure what is enough. Perhaps enough is because my hands and arms are tired from typing, my brain is out of stuff to write about, or I just feel that no one will read this far for whatever reason. Alright, thanks for reading, if you did read this far, if you could please shoot me a message that just says "Read it" or something just so I know you did, that would be great. It would mean a lot to me if you have. Thank you for your time.

Later you,

Lance

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I read it and you have inspired me to stop sitting on my lazy butt and actually accomplish something. Thanks!